July 18, 2009

"Enjoy the little things...

for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."
-Robert Brault.

From May 12 to June 27th, I found myself in a Timewarp. 47 days...............

of Timewarp.

After being in the big city. Doing everything myself. by myself. for myself. plus a lot more. figuring things out. living, loving, aching...... exhausting my inner being. i went home. I had the option of staying in Los Angeles until the end of June. I could have packed my car and headed straight to Pittsburgh. But, I had this burning desire to go home to mom and dad and sit in a bubble. a comfortable bubble. I pretended I had never left. and by 'never left', I mean, like college never happened. LA never happened. and maybe even senior year of highschool never happened. The ages between 18 and 25 ceased to exist. 17 was blurry. and 16 was maybe just catching on....

But in this time at home, there was a bit of a difference from when I was 16. Have you ever said to yourself, 'I wish I could go back 10 years knowing what I know now?' Life in Baton Rouge, at mom and dad's.... well, I got to go back... But I was enlightened.

When I was 16, I was a mess. A MESS! I was sooo rude. Self-absorbed to the max. Knew the world didn't revolve around me... But did everything in my power to try to get it to! I spent a lot of time worrying about who I was, how I was, and why I thought noone liked me. I cried a lot. I don't think I could have sat down when I was 16 and just thought, 'it's nice to be sitting down'. My mind was consumed with every thought from how I wanted to skip out on swimteam practice, to how I had to make an A on Sister Ursula's chem exam, to how I was going to convince this guy to like me who obviously would never like me in the first place [and yes, knowing that 10 years ago REALLY would have saved me some time]. But really, just a circle of self-centered, self-mutilating, estrogen-stricken, negative, exhausting thoughts consumed my being.

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."

Amidst my vacation at mom and dad's, I began to notice this towel hanging in the powder room next to the kitchen. This little, simple, fabulous quote subconsciously began to hover in my mind throughout my vacation. Enjoy the little things... i.e., washing my hands in the powder room at mom and dad's house. After some time of seeing this towel every day, it would bring a little smirk to my face. I would think, 'Yes, I'm at home. I am at home and I'm drying my hands on this towel and my parents are here, and Mara is here, and I'm happy, and I love being alive.'

I know, this is one of the most well-known of the cheesy quotes of cheesi-ness. It definitely belongs hand-sewn on a towel accompanied by butterflies and flowers in a powder room... at mom and dad's. But it was so refreshing to read this quote that I have seen over and over throughout life, never thinking beyond, 'oh, how sweet...' and then, waking up one day, and realizing it had become a mantra in my head... and it was beginning to make me smile!

I am SO happy I am not 16 anymore. And I am so happy I am here.

So friends-

Enjoy the little things... whatever they may be.



No comments:

Post a Comment